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1. Invisibility Cloak
Harry Potter did it. You CAN dot it. The technology is here now, so just cloak away, dear people. The children’s logic ‘if they can’t see you, they can’t get you’ is the new reality. Just don’t light a cigaret whilst hiding!
2. Dress Up & Pretend to Be The Highest Leader
For onlly 40 pounds you can be Commander-in-Chief of all suicide bombers-to-be. Who on earth will kill or bomb The Great Leader? Exactly, noone! Just tell them the US didn’t kill you at all (that was just a decoy, so you can keep leading the group safely from a new location nobody-has-ever-heard-of) and send them off to wherever they came from.
3. Stop. Having. Opinions.
Please just stop. There are too many opinions anyway. Have you checked Twitter? Billions of people blabbing their every thought into the digital stratosphere. Nobody. Cares. So just STOP!
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